Here’s a mental image for your reference:
Mmmm, right? That’s hawt.
I am Sandy! I’m Cindy! And Mindy! We’re the Magus Sisters! Sorry, but your quest will be over here. Take our Delta Attack and farewell!!
Of the three, you’ll choose to bang one, marry one, and kill one. And no, you cannot bang the one you marry in this game. Choose wisely, as your decisions here will change your life FOREVER! You may learn something about yourself…
Sandy: There you go! Cindy: Come on, Mindy! Mindy: Here it goes! All 3: DELTA ATTACK!
Keep in mind they also have their same stats, abilities, and special attack patterns from Final Fantasy IV AND X.
So what strategy do you use for your choices?
Here’s another picture if you need a little extra help deciding your final
…just don’t go for Mindy, you creeps.
Next week, Laragorn, Moebius, and Curlax: The Dreamy Stooges Edition, Bang, Marry and Kill…
Addendum: I posted this to Reddit a while back, posing the question to unsuspecting
johns Redditors. You might wonder “Gary, why did you post such an awful choices?” Well, I think Bang, Marry, Kill is a stupid game. So I included three characters no one in their right mind would choose. That is, no matter who you choose in any category, it’s the wrong choice. Completely wrong. And I endorse nothing, because I didn’t even play the game myself. Why would I?
So, of course, people stressed out. I think their conflict arose from what to do with Mindy. Should they kill Mindy? At least they wouldn’t have to…you know, with her. But then, that’s still terrible. So how about the other two options? Thankfully, no one would bang. Yet, some people started stressing over whether or not they had to consummate the marriage…
So then, what about the other two? I asked this elsewhere around the net, and people had weird rationalizations for the portly Cindy. Some said they’d marry her for money, others for her food. She’s fat, so, I guess she’s a great cook and has a lot of money to afford food? Nothing’s wrong with Sandy, for the most part. Yet, some players thought tall, lanky Sandy was actually a Magus “brother”. Then they questioned their sexuality, and stressed over the (big) bang. Guys…
The experiment went well, but people are too serious. They also think into it too much.
The correct answer? None. None of them. Don’t play the game. Just don’t. Same with Laragorn, Moebius, and Curlax. Why date big-headed monster toddlers? Just skip it. This is parody, and they’re the bad guys anyways.