WTF!?

You can already tell with a name like Nooj that there’s going to be trouble. It’s bad enough he looks like Egon from the Ghostbusters cartoon, with Seymour’s bad taste in hairstyles. Does he really need to look like he’s selling a store brand superhero toy? Does he really need to look like a rejection of every tasteless style from in a JRPG?

This is bad. Really bad. Everything is clashing. Even things that shouldn’t logically clash, do. Where to begin?

First, what’s that on his right shoulder? It looks to be fur, everyone. But why is it there? I guess it’s a part of the…what? No, nothing. Did he rip the tail off a dog, to drape it needlessly over his shoulder? Does it come with the…what is that thing? It looks like a purple sling for his arm, but it doesn’t work as support. It’s just there, as another sleeve. But what does this sleeve go to? The fur on his shoulder. Why is the fur there? To cover the sleeve? Just the right arm alone is a circular question that goes nowhere.

On to the next arm. What’s confusing is his prosthetic arm. The sleeve is red, so it actually looks like a glove. How is it that the red on his left shoulder clashes with the red on the rest of his body? Ah, that’s why. Because he’s wearing a sole solid red shoulder pad. The rest of his body has stripes. So both reds stick out, competing for attention. Yet since they’re the same color, they cancel each other out.

Oh, wait. Is he wearing pajamas? Ah, they’re long johns with a giant zipper in the front. Who wears long johns as a fashion statement? Belts attach his left prosthetic arm and leg to the rest of his body, signifying that his surgeons knew not what they were doing. I guess we can’t be picky. His prosthetic leg only came in metallic turquoise, to match his glasses and cane. Even his cane is a question mark, as in what exactly is going on with this person’s clothing?

But what’s most perplexing is the boot. How is it that the only thing consistent in this piece is the shoes? Really? No other color? The fact that he has two purple boots is enough to throw everyone off. This level of predictability is unpredictable in itself. It’s the shoes which paradoxically bring everything together before dropping it to the ground all at once.