Thanks to Scott Baird of ScreentRants.com for the inspiration!

4. THE HOJO BEACH PARTY

Professor Hojo might be the most despicable character in Final Fantasy VII. Jenova and Sephiroth at least have biological reasons for why they kill so many people. The Shinra Corporation executives are motivated by greed, but at least they stepped up and tried to stop Sephiroth and the Weapon monsters when they became a threat.

Hojo, however, performs sick experiments in the name of science and is responsible for destroying the lives of many of the characters in the game.

At one point in Final Fantasy VII, the party has to travel across the ocean to the resort town of Costa Del Sol. When they get there, they find Hojo partying on the beach with a couple of bikini-clad babes.

This scene is so completely out of character that it’s almost funny. The disturbed professor is acting out his own episode of Baywatch on the sand. Apparently, Hojo enjoys drinking piña coladas when he isn’t experimenting on the genetics of ancient monsters.

This scene would become even more uncomfortable if it featured voice acting, so it’s probably for the best if it’s left out.

Final Fantasy VII has a bunch of quirky moments that just seem out of place in a game with seriously heavy topics. Scott hints on why most people want this scene to appear in the game: it’s funny. Of course, there’s nothing funny about a psychopath. But the humor involves reconciling an out-of-touch mad scientist with beautiful beach babes.

It also has the potential to make Hojo much more disturbing. How can such an evil man sit around on the beach after countless genetic experiments? Genetic experiments that brought untold suffering on the lives of others? Maybe because he has no conscience? Chances are the girls surrounding him are just as repulsed by him as we are. Shinra is probably paying the beach girls to “entertain” him, making it all the more disturbing.

So keep it in. Make sure Paul Eiding returns to add to the creepiness of it.