Last Thursday, I sent an open letter to Palom about how he’s changed. I was glad see email from none other than the Great Palom of Mysidia.
I never expected to receive an answer from The Mysidian Genius (no, really, I didn’t). Let’s read it together:
Thanks for the mail. Love you too! And for the record, I am not a “Grade A douche” nor a “pickup artist”. I have much more class than that.
Listen, kid, I’m just enlightened now…that’s all. I understand how the world works and, more importantly, how women tick. You beta types only wish you could understand.
And you’re talking about Lenora, right? She’s not my girlfriend OK; she’s my “associate”, got that? A-sso-ci-ate. I’m sure you know what that means, don’t you?
Anyways, I do what I want. If I want to go to a dance club, that’s my business. What, are you mad I didn’t invite you? Awww. You want to sit on daddy’s lap and pass gil to the nice ladies next time, son?
And no, I did not get “raped by older women”. Like, seriously are you even talking about? That never happened. At all. Like, seriously…
Look, women like how I treat them. That’s just what they like. It works. Well, it does for me. Sometimes. I don’t care, whatever.
Listen, I’ve decide I don’t need to pursue women anymore. They’re too much trouble anyways. They just want to use you. Women get to do whatever they please and men get the shaft, so I’ve had it. I’m going my own way, to realize my goal of being a Great Sage like Tellah. Real men don’t need women.
So, yeah. Shouldn’t you have other things to do rather than write to me? I mean, come on!
…wait, wut? Wow.
Ben & Jerry’s, here I come… His sister is still really hot in the After Years though.